Monday, August 22, 2011

Buddy Who?

 Even though Buddy is seen as a person in control at the beginning of the book, we don't take much time to find out that he has completely lost the control of his own life. As we can see in Coming Through Slaughter
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1. He found himself in the Brewitts' lawn. 2. She opened the door. 3. For a moment he looked right through her, almost forgot to recognize her. 4. Started shaking, from his stomach up to his mouth, he could not hold his jaws together, he wanted to get the words to Robin or Jaelin clearly. 5. Whichever one answered the door. 6. But it was her. 7. Her hand wiping the hair off her face. 8. He saw that, he saw her hand taking her hair and moving it. 9. His hands were in his coat pockets. 10. He wanted to burn the coat it stank so much. 11. Can I burn this coat here? 12. That was not what he wanted to say. 13. Come in Buddy. 14. That was not what he wanted to say. 15. His whole body started to shake. 16. He was looking at one of her eyes. 17. But he couldn't hold it there because of the shake. 18. She started to move towards him he had to say it before she reached him or touched him or smelled him had to say it. 19. Help me. 20. Come in Buddy. 21. Help me. 22. Come in Buddy. 23. Help me. 24. He was shaking. (Ondaajte, 45)

1. The words "found himself" make it seem as if he wasn't in control of his life, he was just following a path laid out for him which led to the Brewitts' lawn.
2. The fact that she opened the door doesn't give Buddy any emotion yet.
3. Buddy is starting to show signs of being out of it, as he is starting to have trouble with such automatic things as trying to recognize a person.
4. There was something affecting him inside that he had to tell either Robin or Jaelin, but it was hard. There is little control from him of his body.
5. - 6. It was more important to deliver the information fast, than to a specific person.
7. She doesn't know what he is trying to tell him.
8. He may be looking at her intensely, trying to decipher any sign of understanding in her, noticing her every movement.
9. It was cold, but that was not the most important reason why his hands were in his coat pockets. He didn't feel comfortable with his body.
10. He had probably used the coat many times in order for it to stink. He couldn't keep his mind on the matter to be discussed; he wanted to change the topic but knew he couldn't.
11. The necessity to burn the coat - not just get rid of it - was so big that he wanted it done immediately. He was still not concentrating.
12. He knew what he wanted to say; knew he couldn't just let it go.
13. The girl who opened the door knew him before and wanted to know why he was there and what he had to say.
14. Still couldn't get it out. Uneasy and nervous, Buddy had to repeat things to himself in order to stay calm and try to believe them.
15. The idea of having to talk about it with this girl was unnerving for him, and he continued to lose control of his body's reaction.
16. He was trying very hard to concentrate, and to maintain his stare directed at her.
17. It didn't work. He was just so nervous and so out of it that he couldn't stop shaking, couldn't control what he was doing, and couldn't bring himself to say what he had to say.
18. He was nervous to say it, and couldn't waste any time. He could either be scared of her or wanted her to know what he had to say before she did anything else. This opens the possibility that what he has to say might change her opinion of him, and changes the fact that she wanted to touch him or smell him.
19. Buddy is vulnerable, and accepts the fact that he needs help. He trusts her.
20. - 23. The repetition of these lines shows a lack of understanding between both people. Buddy really needs her help, but doesn't want to do what she tells him too. She is worried about him and wants him to come in; to calm down. He seems like a crazy person with issues. He truly does need help, and in more ways that he is aware.
24. Still shaking, the author stops the chapter there to symbolize the continuation of Buddy's word repetition and emotional lack of control. It gives more importance to the symptoms he is experiencing than to what he had to say.

Buddy Bolden isn't in control of his life, the emotions he feels, and his body's response to them. His mind, as well as his body, is "out of it," and he seems to have issues keeping his concentration and staying on a subject, even when it is extremely important. He isn't very comfortable with himself, and can get very nervous and uneasy when talking about it. Buddy can also be very vulnerable, and can maybe open himself to the help of others when he really needs it. All his actions lead to him becoming crazy and schizophrenic. He is just not normal.

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